Candid Communication

In the book, “How to Say Anything to Anyone”, Shari Harley looks at the issue of bringing candour into our communication with others, where it is often absent, and the personal and organisational benefits this brings;

Most of us have no idea how we come across to others or what our employers and colleagues think of our services. We don't know what people think, because, for the most part, they don't tell us. Instead, they tell other people behind our backs. This is why we need to encourage people to be candid with us, even when it hurts to hear their feedback. Otherwise, we'll operate under false assumptions and make unnecessary, career-killing mistakes.

Candour is not bad news, and a candid organisational culture is not necessarily about saying hard things. Instead, candour is asking more questions at the onset of relationships. Candour is stating expectations rather than expecting employees and vendors to read your mind. Candour is making a commitment to talk about things as they happen, not six months after the fact. In candid cultures, co-workers, employers and employees say what they need to say quickly and easily. They have created relationships in which all parties can speak openly without concern.

When you know what people think and say about you, you have choices. When you understand the impact of your behaviour and consciously choose your outcomes, you are in charge of your career and your life.

How we communicate with others is at the heart of the habits of effectiveness which FranklinCovey have been exploring for over 20 years. and before we share with people the skills of having a candid conversation we get them to first think about the intent they bring to that interaction with another person. If their intent is one of mutual benefit then it is more likely that the other person will be responsive to the message (even if it may not be perfectly delivered), whereas if the intent is self-serving then it is unlikely others will respond well to what you have to say, no matter how well delivered. 

This same perception of intent applies when we receive, and respond to, candid messages from others. It is only by recognising that this “intent alarm” exists (in both ourselves and others) can we best position candid communication so that it delivers benefits to all concerned.