The Lost Art of Managing Conflict and Confrontation Effectively

Talent Management magazine recently featured an editorial reflecting that 'argument done right' is a lost art and advocating that people should embrace conflict and confrontation so that they can better air ideas and chart paths forward.

Being skittish about conflict and confrontation undercuts its essential value to our organisations. Our task should be to balance disagreement with resolution, teach others to deploy conflict constructively and find the hidden value in individual differences.We need to learn how to pick the fruit of argument without cutting down the tree and to help leaders do the same.
If we're not ready for conflict, we're putting ourselves in a compromising position. We make innovation a priority but do we develop the critical capability to ignite and manage the creative tension and conflict necessary to its success.  
It starts with an idea simple in theory but notoriously difficult in practice; listening with the intention to be persuaded. If our minds are already made up, then there is indeed no point in argument.     

The idea that people's 'minds are already made up' when they enter a discussion with clients (or colleagues) is something that we recognise in our work on effective relationship and innovation management, but where FranklinCovey's approach differs is that we do not advocate 'listening with the intention to be persuaded' as an alternative. 

Instead we develop in people the ability to 'listen to understand'. Initially this comes from a belief that there is value in the input, and the diverse perspectives, of others in navigating to an outcome that may not be our way, may not be their way but may be a new and different way. To achieve this, we then help people control their instinct to 'listen to respond' and to instead genuinely reflect that the other person is saying or feeling. When done well, the depth of appreciation both parties can gain of the others' perspective can help elevate the interaction, so neither is looking to persuade the other of their point of view, but rather both are seeking out new and different ways of working together. At this point 'argument' becomes 'mutual exploration' and the opportunity to achieve 'compromise' is exchanged for the possibility of delivering transformative outcomes.